You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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