Where are you?
In a non slutty way
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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