i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
