dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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