hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
