I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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