sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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