one might say we're banned from that church
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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