I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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