I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
