Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
