its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
