the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
