at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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