i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
