There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize