I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
