Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
