are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
