How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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