We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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