dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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