the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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