apparently the secret to your success is patron
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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