My first STD was from a foam party
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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