It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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