hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
