Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
