his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
