Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Randomize
