How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
