Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i barfeds in our rink
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
