Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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