can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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