Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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