I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
