and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
