i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm like, not good at living.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
