Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
