Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
