And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
