so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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