i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
