I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
