i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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