I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
