Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
