My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
