she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
