I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
